Duo squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to let any tears fall. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. Why was this happening? What did he do? He had tried his best to keep Heero happy… what happened?

Confusion swirled in his head. He couldn’t understand what was going on, why it had happened. He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him, his body tingling in shock as if he were standing under a waterfall of freezing water.

The world had stopped, trying to give Duo time to adjust to the shock. But the news wouldn't sink in. The part of him that always put on the smile was immediately burying the emotions of fear, anger, hatred, betrayal and despair as they were initially felt, lessening the pain he had to endure. But no matter how strong he was, no matter how accustomed to hiding his weaknesses he was, nothing could stop Duo from experiencing the pain that overwhelmed his heart.

~ ~ ~ ~

-{Six Months Earlier}-

Duo blinked his eyes open and squinted as a thick beam of light draped across the bed. He felt the warmth of it on his skin and was suddenly glad that he had left the curtains open last night. It had been a matter of laziness for himself at the time, but, he was reminded, that Heero hadn’t gotten up to close the wine-red curtains either. Maybe they were simply preparing to lie in bed as long as possible, as was almost necessary of a Saturday morning.

Reaching his arms above his head, Duo stretched, popping his elbows and spine while letting out an enormous yawn. As he stretched, his left thumb moved to play with the ring on his finger, twirling the golden band Heero had given him last week in circles. It wasn’t an engagement ring or a wedding band or even a promise ring. Just a gift Heero had given him. Duo smiled, and when his body relaxed again, he turned over to snuggle into the sleeping body next to him.

Heero lay on his side, facing Duo, his mouth hanging slightly open in the tranquility of sleep. His hair was a nest of chocolate, as it was every morning, having been constantly ruffled the previous night. Duo watched him for a moment before moving closer. Instinctively, Heero wrapped his arms around Duo and pulled until there was no space left between them. Duo nuzzled into Heero’s chest, soaking up the heat from his lover’s body while not forgetting the comforting light the sun draped over them.

“Duo?” Heero mumbled from where his face was buried in the other boy’s hair.

“Hm?”

“You know we have to get up soon, right?”

Duo had almost forgotten: they were supposed to meet everyone at Worlds of Fun Theme Park later that afternoon. Quatre and Duo had arranged the whole day so that they could all spend some time together. Trowa, Catherine, Wufei and Relena were all going to be there. He and Heero were supposed to be there as well. Duo, however, having found himself wrapped in paralyzing warmth, was quickly regretting having planned it that way.

“Duo?”

“M’yeah, I know,” Duo grumbled, burying his face further between them. “M’wake up later…”

Heero let out a satisfied sigh and Duo was glad to know that Heero agreed. He didn’t want to get up now. He wanted to remain in bed all day. He had had a busy week with work and now he wanted to relax with his lover until one of them gathered enough energy to get up and make something to eat. But for now, he was content to just lie in bed.

The loud beeping of their alarm didn’t allow them to rest for long.

~ ~ ~

Heero turned the car into the park’s entrance and quickly found a parking spot. Duo, dressed in a plain red t-shirt and jeans, was ready to ride every ride in the park and sample all of its food. Heero, in a gray marble t-shirt and jeans, not sharing his partner’s excitement for the rides, was, however, eager to see his friends again. The pair hurried up to the entrance to the main park.

Quatre and Trowa had arrived first and, as they had been waiting before any of the others got there, were quick to greet Duo and Heero.

“Duo! I was afraid I was going to have to call you. I thought you’d still be asleep,” Quatre laughed, giving his friend a strong hug.

“Heero set the alarm at full blast - I didn’t have a choice,” Duo laughed back.

Quatre then turned and gave Heero a hug, a motion the stoic boy returned somewhat stiffly. Heero had gotten a lot better with showing affection since the war, especially since he and Duo had moved in together the previous year. However, physical contact, even such a thing as simple as a hug, with anyone other than Duo himself, was still an issue Duo was working fervently on.

Trowa and Heero, both with an uncanny understanding, nodded towards each other and said hello.

It wasn’t long before Catherine showed up and affectionately greeted her brother. Duo considered them siblings even though there was no blood connection - as far as anyone knew - and Duo often used the same term when thinking of the other pilots. None of them had a stable family so upon building friendships between each other, they had created a makeshift family. Trowa had refused to leave Catherine, an orphan herself, out of that.

They had to wait slightly longer for Relena to show up, the blonde girl arriving in her usual limo. Duo fought to suppress a laugh as the girl emerged dressed in what she called recreational clothing. In fact the outfit was nothing more than a pair of shorts and a white tank top. None of the others found the humor in it, but Duo, for some reason, just couldn’t get over the girl’s legs; they were slim and pale and looked as if they had never seen the light of day. He kept his opinion about it silent though, knowing Relena’s sensitivity about her paleness and Heero’s feelings about the girl.

Relena, though everyone knew she wanted more, had settled on being Heero’s friend a long time ago. The former Wing pilot had informed her firmly that he was in love with Duo and that wasn’t going to change. He was too considerate - since the war - to push her away completely. In all honesty, Heero enjoyed her company and had decided to continue to find out things about the girl that he liked. She was, after all, his boss, as he had taken the bodyguard position soon after the war ended.

Duo had remained friends with Relena mainly because she was Heero‘s boss and friend. Duo didn’t like the feeling of being the bitchy lover who only wanted Heero to pay attention to him. To prevent this, when Heero had taken the job, Duo had decided to befriend the blonde girl. She was his friend and would be around no matter what Duo thought of her so he reasoned that he might as well make that time pleasant.

Another ten minutes passed before Wufei came waltzing up towards the entrance. He looked somewhat disgruntled and Heero silently assumed it was because Duo had been the one to give him directions. They all finished greeting each other and entered the park, gathering together around the large fountain that decorated the park’s inner entrance.

“So where do you guys want to go first?” Quatre inquired, sliding his hands into the pockets of his faded blue jeans.

“Rides,” Duo said firmly.

“Well, I want to go play some games,” Catherine stated, teasingly frowning at Duo.

“I would assume no one is hungry yet,” Wufei commented, looking around and examining the park, “so those are our choices I guess.”

“You ganna go on some rides with me Heero?” Duo turned and raised his eyebrows, looking intently at Heero who returned none of the other boy’s excitement about the rides. Heero remained silent, only raising one eyebrow to give Duo his answer. “Fine,” Duo replied, his mood still intact, “Anyone else?”

“I’ll go,” Quatre answered with a smile.

“Me too,” added Trowa.

Catherine and Wufei both agreed to go as well, forcing Relena and Heero to be carried along in the group’s wake. They walked down the street, passing souvenir shops and food stands as they went.

Quatre turned and smiled at Duo. “I’m surprised you haven’t stopped us yet; we’ve passed three funnel cake stands already.”

Duo turned and a wicked smile crept across his features. “Well, I’m surprised you got the guts to ride some of these rides. You sure you’re not too scared?”

“You’re an ass hole,” Quatre laughed.

“Oh am I?” Duo laughed back. “I dare you, our little blonde pretty boy, to go on the largest ride in the park, the Phantom. Right after dinner. Without hurling it back up.”

Quatre smiled wickedly. “You’re on.”

Duo patted him on the back. “Good. Now, what do you say we start little, so you don’t get scared. The Twister looks subtle enough.”

Rolling his eyes, Quatre followed them towards the ride. His mind, however, wasn’t on a lame a ride as the Twister. He cursed himself inwardly; he shouldn’t have accepted that bet.

Later in the day, Duo was able to convince Relena to go on a few of the smaller roller coasters, but couldn’t convince her to go on the water rides. Duo had made a comment earlier about her white shirt getting wet and she had then asserted that she wasn’t going to get wet that day.

Wufei and Catherine, however, proved to be Duo’s best ride buddies. Both were eager to go on any of the rides any number of times, a quality Duo treasured greatly in them. Catherine, Duo supposed, liked the rides because they were like the aerial stunts she had to perform in the circus (except for the fact that you were buckled into a seat of some sort). Wufei, though, Duo couldn’t figure out, and when asked about it, all the Chinese man indulged was that one of the largest theme parks ever built had been located on L5.

Around seven thirty, everyone had grown tired of the rides, even Duo, who had abandoned the desire for thrill for the desire for food. The question now was where to get that food. It took everyone a good half hour to agree to eat at a sit-down restaurant that was diverse enough to have a little of every kind of food.

Sitting down, they all immediately reached for the menus placed in the center of their table. The restaurant, Andy‘s, was large and extensive, decorated mainly in dark red. It was well lit without losing its romantic appeal, and the smell from the kitchen penetrated the dining room, surrounding and exciting its guests.

“Man that smells good,” Duo hummed as he scanned the menu. Twitching his head, he tossed loose bangs out of his eyes. The auburn hairs had come out of the braid in the midst of the many rides; Duo took it as a small price to pay.

“Are we paying for our own or… what?” Catherine glanced around the table, instinctively knowing that Trowa wouldn’t let her get away with paying for herself.

“I’m paying,” Quatre answered calmly. He didn’t look up from his menu, even when half the table began to protest. He ignored them, knowing that eventually they would stop and accept that he had made up his mind.

“Heero?” Duo elbowed his lover in the side, catching the boy’s attention and motioning to the menu. “What is Ma-ka-zushi?”

“Maki-zushi,” Heero corrected. “It‘s a sushi roll.”

“Oohoohoo.” Duo licked his lips but left that prospect when his eyes fell on a picture of the restaurant’s hamburger meal. “I’ll have that,” he said, pointing to the picture. He then tossed the menu into the center of the table and waited for the waitress to show up.

“I feel like pizza,” Catherine commented, “But all they have is whole pizzas. I can’t eat that much.”

“Then get that,” Trowa encouraged, laying down his menu and extending an arm over the back of Quatre’s chair. “I’m sure others will snack on it.” He gave Duo a smart look but turned away before the braided boy had a chance to respond to it.

“Hey Duo,” Relena said, getting his attention, “want to share some Thai chicken with me?”

“OK!” he answered.

A few minutes later, the waitress arrived and took their orders. They mingled with small talk until their food arrived and then proceeded to eat while continuing their conversations between bites.

“How’s that case you were talking to me about?” Quatre asked Duo.

“Not good,” Duo told him, “The guys we’re dealing with are smart and good at covering their tracks.”

Quatre raised an eyebrow.

“Whoever they are, they hacked into the Preventers’ weapons files. We know the file was hacked into but we have no idea as to what information they got out of it… much less who it was. Like I said, good at covering their tracks. Whoever they are, they know about computers and files.”

“Did you try any of the ‘techniques’ we were taught during the war?”

“I suggested it, but everything has to be ‘legal‘ now,” Duo responded.

Quatre smiled and decided to change the subject. “So,” he said, letting the others be distracted with each other in order to talk alone with Duo, “How are you two?” He nodded towards Heero.

“Good,” Duo replied.

“Good? Just good? Gimme the details, man!”

Duo laughed and smiled at his blonde friend. The Arabian boy had always been private about relationship details, but as time went on, Duo found his best friend getting more and more confident. More and more perversion seemed to follow the confidence. “Like what?”

“Sex good?”

Duo nearly did a spit take with his soda but managed to keep it going down his throat. Once the bit of laughter subsided he simply responded, “Yeah.”

Quatre smiled. “Good. I…”

The blonde was cut off when Relena’s voiced rose over them in protest. “I do not!” she shouted at Wufei playfully, “That’s such old news!”

“What?” Duo asked, instantly nosing in on what was going on.

Wufei turned to him without losing eye contact with Relena. “Relena still loves Heero.”

“I do not!” Relena’s cheeks reddened and only got worse when the majority of the table agreed to Wufei’s statement.

Heero ignored them, more focused on finishing his pasta than their talk about him. Duo, completely unbothered by the topic of discussion, laughed at the boy next to him. No matter what was going on, Heero was able to sift through in order to listen to what he felt important. The subject of Relena’s obvious infatuation with him was never something he was very interested in; though Duo did suspect he kind of liked the attention.

Long ago, he and Heero had talked about Relena and the situation she presented. Heero had assured Duo that there was no interest on his side of the fence, and Duo had no need to worry. Relena was nothing more than a friend Heero treasured and a boss he respected.

“Heero?”

Head snapping up, Heero turned his eyes to Wufei. “What?”

“You know Relena is infatuated with you, right?”

“I don’t know,” he replied calmly, “Nor do I really care…”

Their conversation was interrupted by the waitress bringing their check. She looked around, but before anyone could snatch it to prevent Quatre from paying as he always did, the blonde already signed and handed the check back to the waitress.

“Back to the park?” Duo stood from his seat, finishing the last bit of French fries before gulping the rest of the soda in his cup.

“Where do you guys wanna head now?” Quatre asked.

Wufei and Trowa shrugged. Heero remained quiet as he stood up and Relena turned to look at Catherine.

“I’d like to go plays some games at the arcade,” Catherine said.

“I’ll go too,” Relena agreed.

“Well, Quatre and I have business with the Phantom,” Duo interjected, elbowing the blonde in the side, reminding him of their earlier bet.

“Oh yeah.” Quatre moaned inwardly and suddenly wished he hadn’t eaten that fifth roll.

“Well I should like to see this,” Wufei said, inviting himself along to see Quatre hold (or not) his dinner.

Trowa agreed to go as well, also wanting to see the blonde attempt the challenge.

“You want to come with us, Heero?” Catherine smiled at him.

Relena added, “Or d’you want to see Quatre throw up all over himself?”

“I think I’ll go with you,” Heero responded, motioning to the two girls.

The group made their way out of the restaurant and stood outside in the middle of the walking street. They agreed to meet at the front of the park at nine thirty, about when the park would be closing. The party then split, Heero, Relena and Catherine going downhill while Wufei, Duo, Trowa and Quatre all headed upwards toward the towering ride that was their destination.

“You think it wise to let Relena and Heero be together alone?” Wufei asked.

“They’re not alone,” Duo answered, his thumb caressing his ring as he walked.

“You know Catherine,” Trowa pointed out, “She basically shuts out the real world when playing a game.”

“You trust him a lot don’t you?” Quatre ran a hand through his hair, trying to relieve himself of the nerves that continued to build as the ride grew increasingly larger as they approached.

“I don’t see a reason not to,” Duo replied plainly.

“That’s good,” Trowa stated, knowing almost no one was listening to him now.

They had come to the ride, now standing under the large construct that was the Phantom. It towered over them with its swoops and turns. The screams of the current riders caught their attention, causing Quatre to gape up at them as they went through a loop and wonder what he had gotten himself into.

“Ready Quat?” Duo smiled as his blonde friend put on a determined face and walked forward.

~ ~ ~

Throwing himself into his chair, Duo rubbed his nose to relieve the tension that was growing behind his eyes. He looked at the paperwork in front of him and sighed as another message popped up on his computer, indicating he had another email. It was moving in on one thirty and nothing new had arisen in the case. Maybe this was what he had been waiting for all day.

He opened the email and read it quickly, letting out a pained groan when he realized it was nothing more than a call to Merrie’s office. They were going to be put on double duty, assigned another case on top of this one; Duo just knew it. Their staff had been reduced over the past few months and agents were beginning to have double assignments. Duo hated having two cases to work on; having two cases always meant double the paperwork.

After deleting the message, he stood from his desk, causing his two partners to look up.

“Call to Merrie’s office,” he said simply.

The three of them entered Merrie’s office moments later, each taking a seat in the chairs in front of the large oak desk that sat in the middle of the room. The young woman, their boss, sat on the other side of the desk, waiting as a mass of papers printed out. She was in her late twenties, but showed little age. Her features were smooth and kind, covered with soft tan skin. The dark hair that hung past her shoulders was pulled into a loose ponytail, one stray lock falling over her eye.

She looked up when the papers finished printing and smiled at them. “Maxwell, Golding, Jeriko,” she nodded to each of them. “You probably know why you’re here. I need you to investigate a case for me; we don’t have enough agents to cover it right now.”

Duo sighed but nodded. Mark Golding, a young, ambitious black man from Canada, grunted his disapproval while Alex Jeriko, a young and stubborn Greek man, remained silent.

“I’m sorry guys, but I need your help,” Merrie told them, a sweet pleading smile on her face.

“What is it?” Duo asked, impatient to start the case.

“Some of the state highway patrol intercepted a shipment of highly sophisticated weapons. There were some parts, and even some fully assembled weapons. All illegal.” She took the pile of papers from the printer deck and handed them to Duo. “We know where the shipment was supposed to be taken and who ordered it. It hasn’t been checked yet, but you have it know it’s a false identity. But we need to find out who these people really are. This shipment had enough arms to equip a small army faction.”

Duo raised his eyebrows.

Merrie nodded. “Yep. I need you to get on it, but you still need to work on that other case.”

Duo nodded and stood up, leading Mark and Alex to rise as well. They went back to their office and each set to their tasks: Duo told Mark to continue researching the hacking case while he and Alex researched the new case. There was about forty five minutes of silence in the room, the only sound being their typing, when Mark suddenly gasped.

“Duo, come here.”

Behind the other man in a moment, Duo looked over his shoulder to see what Mark had discovered. His eyes scanned the screen and fell on the spot where Mark pointed out an address.

“This is the location the hacker was at when they viewed the Preventer files,” Mark told him. He recognized the address and was instantly worried when he recognized the site as the same place the illegal weapons had been heading to.

Duo nodded in understanding. “The cases are linked,” he whispered to himself, “They hacked into the Preventer weapons inventory and then ordered the necessary parts to make illegal weapons. Smart.”

“But careless to do from the same location,” Mark added.

~ ~ ~

Duo waited patiently on the couch, flipping through channels on the television, never remaining on one station long enough to really tell what was on. He lie on his side, stretched on the couch with the remote in his right hand and his left arm resting behind his head, thumb lazily rolling the ring.

His thoughts were centered on the day’s events; the details of his latest case rolling around in his head as he tried to make sense of them. The Preventers knew their files had been hacked into and viewed. They didn’t know what specific information was gathered by the perpetrators. They knew where their enemies had hacked from, but they didn’t know who those people were. They knew they ordered a shipment of illegal weapons and parts and arranged to have them be delivered to the same location that the hacking took place. Simple clues… all with no leads.

They quickly checked out the person who ordered the weapons and as Merrie had suspected, it was a false identity. If nothing else, Duo was glad that the two cases they had been assigned to had turned out to be connected. For now he was glad to be home with only cartoons to think about.

He had gotten home from work less than an hour ago, though it should have been a lot sooner. Certain circumstances prevented this and he only hoped Heero would like the surprise.

Hearing the keys rattling outside the front door, Duo leapt to his feet, turning off the television and tossing the remote aside. He couldn’t reach the door in time but Heero was greeted with the surprise anyway.

Eyes wide with shock rarely shown, Heero stood completely still, letting the animal bounce around his feet. As Heero had opened the door, he was greeted by a large tan and black muzzle. Round eyes stared up at him in excitement and a docked tail wiggled upon a swaying rear end. Moving from paw to paw, the Rottweiler smiled up at him with his long pink tongue hanging out of his mouth. Slight whines escaped the dog’s throat, his begging to be noticed.

“Surprise!” Duo moved forward and gave his shocked lover a hug. Reaching down, he grabbed the ecstatic animal by his red collar and pulled him back. “What do you think?”

“Um…” Duo smiled as Heero’s eyes remained wide and his mouth continued to hang open.

“I stopped at the mall after work to pick up some things and they had some animals from the Humane Society there and I saw him and… look at him!” Duo knelt and hugged the dog around the neck. Seeming to know the need for appeal, the dog opened his mouth, letting his tongue fall out again and a large smile form on his face.

“Duo…”

“You love animals just as much as I do and you said yourself you’d like to have a dog and it’s not like he’s a puppy that needs constant attention, he’ll be fine while we’re at work, and-”

Duo was cut off by Heero’s hand over his mouth. While his lover had been talking, Heero had moved forward to stand in front of Duo. Duo himself had since risen from kneeling on the ground and was now level with the familiar cobalt eyes.

“Duo.” Heero stared at him, eyes firm. “Shut up.” He then lowered his hand and smiled when Duo remained quiet.

No longer content with sitting while the two spoke to each other, the dog stood and continued his earlier venture of inspecting the newcomer’s legs. Heero peered down at him only to be greeted with another gregarious smile.

“His name’s Earl,” Duo said, hoping it was true that naming something gave you an instant connection.

In the hour or so since he’d first seen the energetic Rottweiler, Duo had grown attached to him. He loved how the dog, immediately upon arriving home, seemed as though he’d found where he belonged. He’d adored that large friendly smile that formed when the dog opened his mouth to pant from the instant he saw Earl standing, wagging his rear end in the cage at the mall. He hoped that those things would quickly rub off on Heero.

Duo stopped looking at Earl, who was still rambunctiously circling Heero’s legs, and focused on his lover’s narrowed eyes. He could tell Heero was rolling over the idea in his head, laying out all the pros and cons of the idea of keeping the dog.

The two stood there for a good five minutes, Earl still hovering around Heero, until Heero finally seemed to make up his mind.

“All right,” he said, and that was all there was to it.

Duo jumped on him, arms flying around his neck as he shouted, “Yeah!”

Fueled by their excitement, Earl began bouncing on his front legs, his whines increasing in volume until he was simply barking at them, begging for attention. Heero finally gave in and knelt down to pet him. Earl sat back and let Heero rub his head and massage his ears.

Duo smiled as the thought of his family growing larger, more permanent, more full, passed through his mind.

~ ~ ~

Duo turned the corner and headed down the dull hallway. He passed numerous offices and a couple Preventer officers, waving a ‘Good Morning’ to a few of them. Slowing down, he turned again and popped his head into Wufei’s office.

“Hey buddy!”

The Chinese man moved his eyes to acknowledge Duo’s presence but quickly returned to work. “Merrie is looking for you; she came by a few minutes ago.”

Duo’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh? Thanks…” He left Wufei’s office and headed straight to Merrie’s office, noticing the woman frantically talking on the phone as he entered.

She looked up and her eyes widened slightly. “Duo! Wait,” she said, returning to the person on the phone, “I’ll have to call you back. Yeah, fine.” She hung up and motioned for Duo to sit, which he did.

“I have some information pertaining to your case,” Merrie told him, “I think it’s related, anyway.”

Duo raised an eyebrow, wondering what she was getting at.

“The Preventer’s database was hacked into again. This time our officer files were viewed though, again, we don’t know what was copied or taken. We do, however, know what files were seen.”

“How do you know that?” Duo asked.

“I had Alex check it out this morning; he got here early,” she replied. “But the reason I wanted to talk to you specifically was that the specific file hacked into was Heero’s.”

Duo frowned, a sudden chill running down his spine. “But Heero’s not an agent; his files wouldn’t be in our officer database…”

“I know,” Merrie said quickly, seeing the nerves growing in the man in front of her, “But right after the war, when the Preventers were just starting, Heero was someone we wanted to join us. A file was made for him, but when he denied our request, we just… forgot to move or delete his file.”

“So what does this mean?” Duo gripped the arms of the chair tightly in hopes it would flush some of the growing tension from his body.

“I don’t know. I want you to research it today. Have Golding look for potential suspects to this and have Jeriko inspect the weapons more. I want this solved as soon as possible.”

Duo nodded and stood. He left the room, his mind in a daze. So many thoughts flew threw his head that he couldn’t even remember how he had gotten back to his desk.

What if Heero was the target of the perpetrators plan? The thought sent a thick dagger of fear through his chest. A lump formed in his throat and he suddenly felt very small and helpless. There were no leads to this case. No fitting suspects. No way to stop them if they decided to attack tomorrow… or next week… or next month… He would lose Heero.

He closed his eyes, ignoring the concerned looks his partners were giving him from their desks. His heart slowly returned to a normal rhythm and he was able to clear his head of the fearful thoughts. Paralyzing fear wouldn’t help him right now. Heero’s life, apparently, relied on his abilities to find these guys and stop them.

Duo’s face hardened and he swiveled his chair so he faced his computer. Taking in a slow breath, he set to work.

~ ~ ~

Earl, having grown content in his not-so-new home, curled up on Heero’s Laz-E-Boy chair, his favorite place to sleep while Heero was at work. Every few minutes the dog would get up, leave the living room and pace in front of the front door.

Duo watched him as he, again, settled into Heero’s chair, a sullen look on his face. In the month and a half since Earl had arrived, Heero and the dog had formed a bond. Earl worshiped Heero. He responded to every command the boy gave him. He followed him around the house as he helped Duo clean on Saturdays and he had made it a regular habit to sleep on the floor, right next to Heero as they slept. Duo found it funny that no matter how long Earl slept in his chair during the day, and no matter how much dog hair remained when he finally got up, Heero never seemed to mind. The usual clean freak that Heero was, for some reason, didn’t mind the black hairs that covered his favorite chair.

Everyday, as if he could tell the time, Earl would get up off the chair and sit by the front door around the time Heero would be leaving work. He would wait, staring at the doorknob until Heero made his entrance. Today, however, Heero hadn’t come home on time and Earl’s eyes portrayed every worried thought.

Duo shared the animal’s feelings. Heero had been scheduled to be off work around five that day. It was now seven forty-nine and the stoic boy had not returned home.

Scanning his files on the case, Duo listened lazily as the television hummed in the background. The cartoons had been on for a good two hours but Duo hadn’t really paid attention to any of it. This was very unlike Heero; his lover was always punctual and anytime he wasn’t, there was always a warning call to keep Duo from worrying. This time there had been no call.

His thoughts flew madly around in his mind; one coming randomly after another. What if Heero had been killed? What if he had been captured? Why would the terrorists capture him? What would be the point in that? It would be more logical to just kill him. What if he was dead now, lying face down in a puddle of his own blood? What if he wasn’t even intact anymore? What if they used all the weapons, blowing him to pieces? What if…

It was moving in on eight fifteen when the rattle of keys sent Earl bolting to the door. Immediately throwing the laptop aside, Duo rushed after the dog, a concerned and somewhat angry expression on his face that was blown away when he saw the shape Heero was in.

The boy’s eyes were sunken in, his hair was disheveled and he looked as though he had just finished running a marathon in his suit. He closed the door behind him, threw his keys on the table next to the coat closet and dropped his bag. Completely ignoring Earl, Heero made his way to the bathroom, instantly grabbing the ibuprofen.

Duo followed him then to the bedroom. “Heero? What’s wrong?”

He received no answer.

Heero, seemingly out of it, took off his jacket, shirt, shoes and socks in an almost mechanical way. He then sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his temples.

Duo closed the door before Earl could follow them into the room and switched on the light, noticing Heero hadn’t bothered to do so, and moved to sit next to his lover. “Heero?” He placed a hand on the boy’s arm, almost pulling away when the muscle beneath his hand jumped.

Ostensibly knocked back into the world, Heero suddenly turned to Duo, an expression Duo couldn’t read painted over his features.

“What happened?” Duo asked.

Heero leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and resting his face in his hands. “Long day,” he said simply.

“Everything ok?” Duo could tell that nothing was ok right now, but he couldn’t make himself say anything else.

Heero nodded hesitantly.

Frowning, Duo moved behind him and began massaging his shoulders. Noticing the obvious stiffness, Duo couldn’t help but feel worried as nervousness radiated from Heero, as though he were somehow uncomfortable being so close to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Duo inquired.

“No,” Heero responded quickly. As if he felt guilty for snapping, he added, “No, it’s just been a long day, with the committee press conference and… I’ll be all right.”

Sensing his uneasiness, Duo grabbed the boys face and turned it towards him, kissing him softly. Heero kissed back at first, but soon pulled away, the strange look returning to his face. “I’m sorry, but can we just go to bed?” he asked quietly.

Duo looked at him for a moment. His heart ached seeing the pain in his lover’s eyes. What was wrong? Why wouldn’t he tell him? His concern wanted to push the matter, to find out what was wrong and how he could fix it, but he quickly decided against it. He could plainly see that Heero was exhausted and in no mood to discuss whatever it was. The topic of whatever was bothering Heero dropped and Duo relented.

“Sure.” Duo rose from the bed and let Earl in, not wanting to upset routine.

When he returned to the bed, Heero had already stripped himself of his pants and was lying down. Duo removed his own pants and slowly slid into bed. They lie uncomfortably for a few minutes; Duo not knowing if Heero wanted him to be nearer, Heero not sure if he wanted Duo to move closer.

Duo sighed in relief when Heero pulled him closer and positioned himself to lie halfway on top of the other boy, arm draped across his chest and legs intertwined. Things would be better in the morning, Duo assured himself. And they were.

Wufei stared at his friend with concerned eyes. Duo had just finished telling him the story and an anger swelled in him like he had never known. Watching as the Chinese man clenched his jaw and fists, Duo wondered if it was right for him to tell Wufei what he just had.

“I can’t believe him,” Wufei muttered. He spoke again, his voice getting louder. “I cannot believe he would do such a thing. It’s so… wrong and deceitful. No man worth anything would do that to someone he loved. How could he betray you… all of us…”

Duo could see the anger and confusion in Wufei’s eyes and it lessened his pain to know that someone else understood his feelings somewhat. He took a sip of his tea and pulled his knees closer to his chest. He sat on the couch as Wufei sat on the chair next to it. Earl was uncomfortably stretched out on the floor by the door.

“So what are you going to do?” Wufei asked and motioned around the apartment, “It’s only a one-bedroom apartment; you can’t stay here forever.”

Duo lowered his eyes and stared at his tea. “I know.”

“Have you called Quatre?”

“No. Why?”

Wufei nodded towards a phone that sat on the end table next to the couch. “You should call him. He’s your best friend. He’ll no doubt have a place you can stay more permanently.”

Duo lowered his eyes again.

“Duo.” Wufei hardened his voice, forcing Duo to look up. “Call him.” Rising, Wufei took the empty cups from the coffee table and took them to the kitchen.

Duo stared at the phone for a moment before moving to get up, deciding against calling his blonde friend. A glare came from Wufei from the kitchen Duo sat back down.

Reluctantly, Duo called Quatre. The blonde was overjoyed to hear from him but his tone quickly changed as Duo spoke to him. Though his friend hadn’t revealed any problem, Quatre could sense that something was wrong. Duo refused to tell him, though, only requesting a place to stay for a while. Quatre relented and made arrangements to call and book Duo a ticket to L4 and to meet Duo at the shuttle port the next day. Duo thanked him and hung up the phone slowly, wishing for a moment that he had told Quatre what had happened. Unable to stop himself, his thumb began to move across the golden ring upon his ring finger. After quickly calling himself in to work, he stood up and headed to the kitchen, smelling food being cooked in the next room.

Silently eating his food, Wufei seemed to have cooled down since their earlier conversation and Duo dared to try for small talk.

“So why are you home anyway?”

“It’s my day off,” Wufei told him.

“Oh,” Duo responded with a smile, “I didn’t know you took those.”

Wufei looked up at him. “You don’t have to hide it, you know. I know you are not as ok as you would like me to believe.”

Duo quickly looked down at his food. “I’m fine.”

“Stop, you don’t need to mask your…”

“Yes I do.” Duo said quickly. And that was the end of their conversation.

~ ~ ~

Having had little sleep during the night, Duo decided to leave early, sneaking out of Wufei’s apartment moments before the other boy awoke. The sofa had left his back a little sore, but Duo ignored the discomfort as he turned into the driveway.

He took the key out of the ignition but remained in the seat. Duo stared at the car parked in front of his, his heart sinking to know that he had to encounter Heero. He took in a few steady breaths before deciding that he had no choice and might as well get it over with. He had to get his things and get to the shuttle port.

Leaving Earl in the back seat of the car, Duo entered the house. The living room was vacant but Heero came from the kitchen the moment the door opened. He was only in a pair of sweatpants and by the look of his face, Duo could tell he hadn’t slept much during the previous night either. His eyes were reddened and his hair unwashed. His navy blue eyes widened when Duo came inside.

“Duo--” Heero moved forward in an attempt to get closer to the other man but Duo put his hand out and backed up.

“Don’t. I’m just here to get my stuff.”

“Duo please--”

Walking around Heero, Duo went into the bedroom and began to pull clothes from the dresser. He went into the closet and took out a large old duffle bag and began stuffing the clothes into it.

“Duo.”

“What, Heero?” Duo paused from packing and looked at the other boy.

“I just… I… It was a mistake… I am so sorry. Please don’t leave…”

His voice was pleading and sad, but Duo turned and continued to throw clothes into the bag. “You should have thought about that before you fucked Relena.” Looking up, Duo was just in time to catch Heero wince at his comment. He stared at him with hate in his eyes, fighting with all he had to keep the hate there and to prevent the pain from taking over. “What the hell do you expect, Heero?”

Heero didn’t answer. He remained quiet and watched as Duo packed, helpless to stop him. Duo grabbed his underwear and threw it in with the rest of the clothes.

“Can we just talk? We’ve been able to talk through everything else…”

Duo ignored him and continued to pack. Heero stepped forward and grabbed the boy’s arms to stop him from packing, trying to get the boy‘s attention. Duo pulled away in a sudden swift motion and backed away as far as he could go. “Don’t! Don’t touch me!” he cried.

Heero’s eyes flashed pain as Duo had never seen them do, but he didn’t care. He still hadn’t dealt with anything and being so close to Heero only caused him to feel the hurt the other man had caused him. He wasn’t ready to deal with it yet. He just wanted to get his things and go.

Standing tense and shocked, Heero waited a moment before taking a few vanquished steps backward. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t,” Duo warned, raising his finger to point accusingly at him, “Don’t do that either. I don’t want to hear it. I’m leaving, just let me go!”

The former Wing pilot lowered his head in defeat. “All right,” he said dejectedly, “I’ll leave you alone.” Turning to leave, Heero was stopped when Duo raised his voice.

“Stop it! You won’t make me feel guilty so just stop!”

“Duo I didn’t--”

“No! Do you never listen? I said shut up! Nothin’ you say means anything anymore!” Duo stopped for a moment and studied the look in Heero’s eyes. “You lied,” Duo accused, his voice now lowered, “You lied to me. A lie by omission is still a lie. I--” He stopped himself. He wanted so badly to push it further, to deepen the hurting he saw in Heero’s eyes, but he had to stop or risk not being able to come back.

Deciding to leave right then, he made up his mind to leave whatever he had not yet collected in Heero’s possession until later. He just couldn’t be there any longer. Duo grabbed the bag and left the room, pushing Heero aside as he left. When he turned around in the living room, Heero was standing in the hallway watching him. The cobalt eyes followed Duo as he moved to the door. He set the bag down next to the door and dug into his pocket, taking out his key chain moments later. He looked through the keys, found the one he was searching for, and removed it from the key ring. He laid it on the table near the coat closet and before he passed through the door, he took off the golden ring Heero had given him. He laid it next to the key and left.

Throwing the bag and coat into the passenger seat, Duo collapsed into the driver’s seat, leaning his head on the steering wheel. Earl peaked his head through the two front seats and nudged Duo with is wet nose, not bothering to notice he was being ignored. He heard the door to the house open and quickly rose, buckled his seatbelt and started the car. As Heero emerged from the house, obviously planning on stopping him, Duo pulled as fast as he could out of the driveway and down the street, not daring to look back.

~ ~ ~

Duo’s thumb stirred to caress the ring that was no longer there. He cringed at its absence, having grown familiar with the golden band. He could remember the exact day, (April 24) the time (11:16 pm), and the exact place (on the living room floor of their house) that Heero had given him the ring. He remembered the words his lover had spoken to him and every caress of the love they made before and after. He remembered what he had worn that day, what Heero had worn that day, what they had eaten for dinner, what the weather had been like, even what assignment he had been working on for the Preventers that day. He remembered everything. And he hated it.

He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget the ring he had grown used to; he wanted to forget that night and every night he had ever spent with Heero. He wanted to forget the love he had felt for the man that lied to him.

However, the more he tried to forget, the more he remembered. When he tried to forget the fun they had had together, he remembered the playful sex they had had, or the time spent walking Earl in the park, or the day at Worlds of Fun. When he tried to forget how sweet the man had treated him, he remembered the soft caresses and encouraging words. When he tried to forget Heero’s face, his features became more prominent in Duo’s mind.

Why couldn’t he forget? That was all he wanted to do and the only thing he couldn’t do. He wanted to forget the fun and the love and the perfect life he had been sharing with the former Wing pilot. He couldn’t do it, though. His heart ached because of it, his insides were being torn apart despite the outward appearance he displayed. He found himself able to joke about it and easily able to deal with it in public. When he was alone, however, he struggled fervently to keep himself from breaking down. He still refused to let any tears fall and didn’t plan on letting them do so in the future.

He had too much to think about, he didn’t have time to cry. The case was getting too complicated and he knew that he really shouldn’t even be leaving, but he needed to get away. He was allowed to do research from his laptop and any new information would be sent to him to review. He hoped there would be some more information soon, there wasn’t much to go on so far and every lead had turned up dead.

An attendant nudged his arm and broke him free from his thoughts. “Sir? We have arrived.”

He stole a glance out one of the windows and saw that they were indeed docked in the L4 spaceship bay. Duo smiled and nodded at the red-headed woman as he rose to grab his bag from the overhead compartment. He waited as people slowly made their way off of the shuttle and mentally prepared himself to greet Quatre at the gate.

The blonde ex-pilot had a broad smile plastered over his face as he raced forward to give Duo a hug. Duo weakly returned the embrace and smiled and Quatre took a step back. Looking his friend in the eye, Quatre snatched the bag from Duo’s hand and walked him to baggage claim.

“Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.

Duo let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll tell you when we get to your place.”

“Ok,” Quatre replied, eyeing his friend suspiciously.

They picked up Duo’s other bag and then retrieved Earl. Quatre refused to let Duo carry either of his bags and after stuffing said bags into the trunk of his SUV and putting Earl in the back seat, he drove them home.

Quatre sat silently as Duo moved frantically around the room, putting his clothes in drawers and belongings in the bathroom. Quatre had given him the guest bedroom to stay in, telling the braided boy he could stay as long as he wanted and assuring him that Trowa didn’t mind. Now, the blonde sat Indian style on the bed, eyes widened and completely still, as Duo finished reiterating the story.

“And so here I am,” Duo finished as he put the last of his socks in one drawer.

Quatre remained silent for a moment. “I can’t believe he would do that,” he finally whispered in awe.

“Well,” Duo said plainly, struggling to keep his voice even, “He did.”

“But he loves you--”

“Not enough.”

“And Relena was our friend--”

“Pretended to be.”

The room was quiet again. Duo’s body stayed in constant motion, still putting things away. Quatre didn’t know what to say. He played with a loose thread on the red comforter and rolled the news over in his head, wondering what Trowa would say and do when he told him. No. When Duo told him.

“What are you going to do?” Quatre asked him, still playing with the thread.

“I was planning on staying here for a little while until I can find a cheap apartment on Earth.”

“You sure you want to go back?”

“Yeah, I just can’t stand space anymore,” Duo told him. “I’m not used to it anymore and I don’t think I really want to be again.”

“What did you do about work?”

Duo was glad that Quatre was moving away from the touchy subjects. “I called them and told them I was going to see a friend… so I am working on my research from my laptop.”

Earl, lying on the bed next to where Quatre sat, rolled over and lay his head in the blonde’s lap. Quatre stroked the dog gently for a few moments before returning to play with the thread. They were quiet for a while more as Quatre continued to watch Duo unpack. “What are you going to do about Heero? You know he’ll try to find you.”

Cringing that Quatre was so persistent, Duo was quickly distracted: hadn’t thought about Heero coming after him and the thought of it scared him. He didn’t let his sudden fear show, but his voice was shakier that he would have liked. “I don’t know.”

“Does he know you’re here?” Quatre stopped fiddling with the string and looked up at his friend.

“Don’t know.” Duo suddenly turned to him. “Quatre, if he calls or anything, will you… I mean, I just don’t want to talk to him.”

“Gotcha.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Duo turned and continued to mess around with the clothes. He ultimately finished unpacking his things and turned to Quatre, about to suggest that they head downstairs to get some food.

“Have you talked to him about it at all?”

Duo froze at the question and the relaxation he had placed over himself washed away into nerves. “Not really,” he replied. Turning, he opened one of the drawers again and took out some of the shirts, rearranging them pointlessly.

Quatre rose and moved to stand a few feet in front of his friend, careful to keep his distance. “Duo, it’s ok to be sad about it.”

Duo immediately stopped, throwing the few shirts he had in his hand into the drawer and shoving it shut. “I’m not sad,” he lied. “Heero made a choice. I gotta live with it is all.”

“Duo, c’mon…”

“What Quatre?” Duo walked around him and sat on the bed, taking the remaining few items out of his bag and placing them on the table beside the bed.

“I know you,” Quatre said simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What do you want me to say, Quatre?”

Duo was glad to finally see Quatre giving up. He could see it in the blonde’s eyes that Quatre realized he just needed some time. Sighing reluctantly, Quatre unfolded his arms. “D’you want something to eat?”

Hearing the beep, Duo, glad to have something distract him from thoughts of Heero, lifted the screen to his laptop and opened his email. His eyes scanned the file that had been sent, narrowing when they read the important news. Kaden Jenkenson had been shot in the chest during an assassination attempt. The assassin got away but his weapon had been left behind and confiscated.

Apparently someone hacked into Preventer files again, this time to track down their traitor. They had gathered the necessary information and failed in trying to get rid of him.

Kaden had actually just finished his composite sketch with the Preventer artist and a scan of the result was enclosed in the email along with a comment from Jeriko simply saying, “Look familiar?”.

Duo opened the attachment and looked at the face that stared back at him. Grey curly hair and dark eyes, Veteran had an eerily kind face and soft features. He had the look of a common man in his fifties. Duo’s eyes narrowed. He had seen that face before…

He stared at the picture for a moment but no matter how many times he searched his brain, he could not match the face to a name or memory. Apparently it was someone Jeriko also knew. He looked at the picture for a few more minutes before leaning back on his pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to will away the headache that had permanently wedged itself behind his eyes. He took a few deep breaths and was unable to resist when sleep slowly washed over him.

Blinking blearily at the clock next to the bed, Duo saw that it was almost twelve thirty. He had stayed up almost all of the previous night, looking through files and scouring the internet. Trying to find out who the man in the picture was, Duo tried everything he could think of but got no solid results. He was beginning to worry that if they didn’t find this man soon, his plans would be carried out and they would be too late. He needed to continue his research, but he couldn’t make himself get out of bed.

He rolled over and realized he was alone, an overwhelmingly strange feeling invading him. He forgot about the work he needed to do as the thoughts of Heero took over his mind. Heero was gone. Duo was alone and it hit him right in the heart. As he had done every morning sine he had received the ring, his thumb moved to touch the golden band that was now gone. He felt its absence as much as he felt Heero’s. Staring at the closed curtains of the large window, every emotion came rushing back. He barely managed to suppress them, not wanting a repeat of the previous night, but they were still felt. He was able to make the hatred and hurt the most prominent, since they were the easiest to deal with. They were the ones who kept him going now, not the pain, not the betrayal, not the shame. He felt immense hatred for Heero and Relena and it nearly consumed him.

He wanted to scream ‘Why?!’ but he remained silent, staring at the white linen curtains.

Earl heard the rustling of sheets and stood from his place on the floor. He moved to stand beside the bed, laying his head near Duo’s, asking for attention and reminding the boy that he was not completely alone. Duo looked up at him and smiled as the dog looked at him with large, round, honest eyes. Smiling, Duo rubbed Earl’s ears until the dog decided it was enough and jumped upon the bed, finding a comfortable position and returning to sleep.

Duo blinked for a few minutes, trying hopelessly to wake himself up. After a while, he decided it was pointless and rolled over, returning to sleep where the emotions didn’t follow him.

Quatre came in and glanced at the clock as he ran to Duo’s side. It was two forty-two in the morning. Quatre held back for a moment, but when Duo continued to stir and moan in his sleep, he placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“Duo? Duo wake up - you’re having a nightmare,” Quatre said quietly, trying to wake his friend.

Quatre gently shook him and Duo jerked awake. He looked up at his blonde friend with panicked eyes. Beads of sweat gathered on his forehead and above his lips. Slowly realizing where he was and what was going on, he relaxed against the pillows. His hands moved through his hair, pushing the bangs away from his sticky forehead and after gathering himself, he turned and looked at Quatre.

The blonde’s eyes were scared, worry apparent in the blue orbs. “You okay?” he asked.

Duo nodded, not really able to speak.

“D’you wanna talk about it?”

Duo didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to talk about the dream he had been having. He didn’t want to think about it. “Just a bad dream,” he finally said.

“No shit,” Quatre laughed, trying to lighten the mood, “I meant, did you want to talk about whatever the dream was about.”

“Just Heero,” Duo admitted before he could stop himself.

Quatre’s eyes narrowed and leaned forward. “What about him?”

“I don’t know,” Duo said, running his hands through his hair again in an attempt to massage away the headache, “It wasn’t really clear.”

“You miss him, don’t you?”

Duo turned and looked at him, a bit surprised and defensive. “Why would I be missing him?” he asked, turning away to stare at the dark ceiling. He suddenly wished Quatre would leave.

“C’mon, Duo. Just because he cheated on you doesn’t mean you stop loving him. You still love him, you know it and you know you’re missing him.” He stared at Duo for a moment, a bit regretful that he had let his voice get too harsh, but relieved that he’d finally said his piece.

Duo returned the boy’s stare, not knowing what to say. He tried a few times to formulate a decent response, but every sense failed him. All he could say was in a whisper, “I know.”

They sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say now. Earl, having been lying on the bed near Duo’s feet, scooted closer to Quatre, wanting some attention but not receiving any.

“I lived in the perfect world for a while,” Duo finally said, barely whispering loud enough for Quatre to hear him, “And he ended it. He lied and I hate him for it. But I still love him and no matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t want to love him any more, Quatre. I just want to move on, I don’t want to waste any more of my time on him…”

Quatre interrupted him. “You really think the past few years have been a waste of time?”

“Yes,” Duo blurted out, “It’s all been a lie…”

“All of it?”

“Yes!” Duo’s voice rose and before he knew it he was yelling. “He lied about everything - about loving me, about wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, about everything, Quatre! And if it wasn’t all a lie, I don’t know how to tell what was and what wasn’t because I can’t tell with him anymore - I thought I knew how to tell if he was lying, but apparently I can’t. I can’t even tell if the person I love the most and spend the most time with is lying to me…” He trailed off, stopping himself, not wanting to say more since he’d already said too much. He sat up, pulling his legs up to his chest and letting his head fall forward, resting his forehead on his knees. Taking in a steady breath, he looked up at Quatre with hardened eyes. “I’m alright,” he said.

Quatre, to Duo’s silent thanks, got the hint and stood up from the bed. “Make sure he gets some sleep,” Quatre ordered Earl, patting the dog softly on the head. “See ya in the morning Duo.”

Duo managed a smile and once Quatre was out of the room, he let out a deep, unsteady breath. Closing his eyes, the dream flashed in front of him and with it the pain it evoked. He sat there in the dark for a few minutes, legs held tight to his chest and his head still bent forward. He couldn’t stop himself and he suddenly hated himself for it as tears began to run down his cheeks and sobs erupted from his throat.

He cried and his heart began to break. The despair consumed him and it seemed as if the immense darkness he found himself swimming in would never be lifted. His head swarmed with questions and his heart cried in pain. He couldn’t do anything to fight it; once he let one tear fall, the others were unable to be stopped.

For the first time in a week, Duo left his room in search of food. He left the kitchen after discovering some strawberry Pop-Tarts and made his way back to his room, fully ready to drown himself in daytime television. As he was passing the office, Duo heard Quatre’s voice speaking without answer, in an accusing tone. Curiosity pricked, he nudged the door open and listened quietly, Pop-Tarts in one hand, the other mindlessly moving as his thumb rubbed the empty spot above his ring finger’s knuckle.

“No… Heero, you…”

Duo suddenly didn’t know what to do. He could go back to his room, or he could listen. Knowing Quatre was talking to Heero made his heart pound but he was too interested in how the blonde would talk to his former friend.

“You cheated on him. What do you expect?” There was silence where Duo assumed Heero was talking. “Well of course he didn’t want to talk to you. Why would he? Heero, I don’t think you get it - you quite literally fucked your relationship with Duo by being with Relena… No… No, he said he didn’t want to talk to you and I am not going to bother him right now… I don’t know, Heero, but I know you really screwed up and I don’t know if you are going to be able to fix it… He hasn’t even left his room - you really hurt him, Heero. I can’t believe you did this…”

Not wanting to listen anymore, Duo moved away from the door and quietly returned to his room. Leaving the Pop-Tarts on the bedside table, Duo crawled into bed and buried himself under the covers. He curled into a ball, snuggling into the thick pillows in a fetal position. He was quiet and the room was quiet. He was alone and nobody could do anything about it.

His head suddenly began to swarm with foreign thoughts. Did Heero feel bad for what he did? Would it even matter? Would remorse make a difference?

He suddenly changed his mind and attempting to quiet the painful trail of thought, he reached for the remote and flipped on the television. Infomercial, infomercial, talk show, Lifetime movie, talk show… he continued to flip through the channels and refused to stop surfing until he found something to watch and take over his brain. He slowly made his way up the list of channels until he abruptly stopped.

“…national meetings earlier today held on the L1 colony. Relena Peacecraft was present at the meeting and proposed…”

Duo’s ears drowned out the newscaster and his eyes focused on Relena. The blonde girl was standing on a platform, hands folded together in front of her, broad smile playing for the cameras that flashed around her. He glared at her face, willing every feature on her head to sprout warts to match her personality. Hatred began to fill him until the camera moved along the line of other government officials, passing for a moment over Relena’s bodyguard, Heero Yuy.

Relena was smiling at him and whispering in his ear, seemingly happy that the man was no longer attached. She flirted with him, smiling and laughing, though the stoic boy didn’t react to her comment. The television camera moved on, but then went back to them.

Images from earlier in the day were then shown, the announcer describing the events. A man then appeared on the screen and Duo nearly leapt out of his skin. Duo saw the man on the screen, who Duo instantly recognized as Brenn Malum, and couldn’t help but see the uncanny resemblance he bore towards the sketch of the terrorist.

The information, like being pulled up on a computer, suddenly displayed itself within Duo’s mind, all connections made. The terrorist had hacked into the Preventer files, obviously knowing what he was doing. Malum knew a lot about the Preventer database through Relena and Heero. Heero’s files had been hacked into as well. It would seem logical that if you wanted to get to Relena, you needed to find any and all of her body guard’s weaknesses. The terrorist leader worked for a woman of high prestige. Relena was about as high as it got. Malum was a strategist during the war, advising people as high up as Treize Khushrenada himself. He was never in the army, though. That would be why he didn’t show up in the search.

So now he was planning on assassinating Relena? Duo stopped for a moment and listened as the news caster spoke.

“…next month where Ms. Peacecraft will be hosting one of the largest events of the year. Attending will be representatives from countries all over the world…”

That must be when they’ll attack, Duo thought. It would be the perfect opportunity to kill Relena, along with a number of other world leaders. Shit.

~ ~ ~

As the shuttle entered the Earth’s atmosphere, Duo could feel his hands begin to sweat. He rubbed his clammy palms over his jeans and closed his eyes in an attempt to relax himself. The stress continued to build, however, as the thought of seeing Heero again wouldn’t leave his mind. In the month and a half since he had left Earth and been living with Quatre, he had eventually allowed himself to feel the pain. He had cried himself to sleep for two weeks straight and left more than one hole in Quatre’s guestroom wall (he and Quatre had worked together to patch up the holes two days before Duo left).

Upon seeing the television broadcast and realizing who the terrorist leader was, Duo had immediately called and booked a shuttle ticket to Earth.

He had left in a hurry, but had, thanks to Quatre, found a decent apartment the previous week. He was able to pack up all his things and head to Earth, two goals in mind. He had to stop Malum from assassinating Relena. He also had to move on with his life and stop sulking about Heero.

He actually thought the whole moving-back-to-Earth-and-moving-on-with-his-life thing was a good idea as he had started to feel guilt for sponging off of Quatre for so long, even though his friend assured him it was no problem. He was confident about going back to Earth and welcomed the trip home until he actually boarded the shuttle and was forced to sit with his own thoughts for unending hours.

Sitting in his seat, surrounded by people who were occupied with their own business, Duo’s head began the thought process he always hated. Surrounding Heero, the ideas seemed to have minds of their own and they refused to settle, like boats that refused to sink.

He was going to see Heero again. He had no choice. It had been his stupidity not to grab all of his things when he left for Quatre’s. Now he had to go back to get those things, he had to go back and see Heero so that he could move on. He wished everything would stop going in circles.

Another thought came: he might even see Heero before getting his things. If he happened to be working when the Preventers went in to get Malum, Duo would have to confront him. The idea caused a shiver to run up Duo’s spine.

He knew that thinking about it wouldn’t make any difference. If he thought about it more, it wouldn’t matter because he would still have to face Heero and save Relena. Trying to distract himself, he glanced at the girl next to him. She looked to be about forty, her short blonde hair beginning to lose its vibrancy. She was busy reading, her eyes focused on the page.

Duo looked at the top of the page, nosily seeing what book the girl was reading. It was a book of Shakespeare. He scanned the page, reading a line here and there for no reason in particular.

The woman looked at him and smiled nervously.

Suddenly realizing he was bothering her, he looked up and managed to smile. “Sorry,” he apologized, putting a hand up in surrender, “I was just curious. My friends used one of Shakespeare’s poems as their vows at their wedding. I had never read Shakespeare and I was just curious and when I saw you were reading Shakespeare I--”

The woman began to laugh and cut him off. “It’s alright. No problem.” She held out the book to him, still laughing. “And they’re called sonnets, not poems. Here, would you like to read some?”

Duo shook his head. “No thanks. Not really in the mood for romantic reading right now.”

The woman smiled again. “Love problems?”

“You could say that,” Duo responded without thinking.

The woman raised an eyebrow, prompting him to tell her. Duo looked back at the woman, his indigo eyes locked onto her sky blues and for no reason at all, he told her.

“My boyfriend cheated on me with someone I thought was my friend.”

The woman looked away to focus on the back of the seat in front of her. Duo expected to be brushed off as he had before when a stranger discovered he was homosexual. He was used to it. Even after so many years of legal gay marriage and after so many other, more important things had happened, such prejudices still existed and Duo was no stranger to them. Instead of the expected reaction, all he got was, “Oh. I’m sorry.”

He was a relieved that this woman wasn’t homophobic and the thoughts quickly left his mind to be replaced with a bit of anger… but not towards her. “It’s not your fault; it’s his,” Duo said, a little more spite coming through his voice than he would have liked.

“Did you leave him?” the woman asked.

Duo nodded.

“So you no longer love him?”

Duo frowned and after a moment of thinking, shook his head. “No,” he chuckled, “No, I’m still in love with him.”

Confusion passed over the woman features and she looked at him, examining his face. “Then why did you leave him?”

It was then Duo’s turn to be confused, after all, he thought it was kind of obvious. “Because he cheated on me.”

“On purpose? Or was it a mistake? Did he apologize?”

Duo looked at the woman for a moment. He couldn’t understand why it mattered. “He said it was a mistake and he apologized. But… I can’t believe him.”

“You won’t believe him.”

Duo blinked at her but she continued before he had a chance to comment.

“Boy, I have been in more relationships than you can probably imagine. I loved a few of them, but I was in love with only one of them. He was in love with me too. But, like your love, he made a mistake and cheated. Believe me, I felt the same as you did - why stay with the bastard? I thought to myself, if he really loved me than he wouldn’t have cheated, right? So I left him. He tried to get me to stay but I refused to listen. He cheated on me, why should I stay?”

She paused for a moment, watching the empathy stir in Duo’s eyes.

“But he didn’t give up… not for a while. He kept calling, trying to get me to come back, but I refused. I was stubborn. That man stole my heart, cheated on me and then lied about it. I felt justified. Do you know what I think of that decision now?” She leaned forward. “I hate myself for it.”

Duo looked at her, searching her eyes. “Why?” he managed to whisper.

“I loved him. He truly did love me. But he was human and made a mistake and I was a bitch and didn’t know how to forgive. At the time, I was more willing to be right with my convictions than happy. Believe me, boy, if you truly love this man, don’t let him go. Love is something incredibly hard to find. If you found it, don’t let it go because of simple human error. I am not saying you need to forgive him, but… listen to your heart and do what makes you happy. I know this road isn’t making you happy…”

Duo looked down, not wanting to look at the woman any more. He shook his head. She was right, he wasn’t happy.

“Just let yourself be happy. Respect yourself, certainly… don’t let him get away with it, but let yourself enjoy the love you’ve found.”

He smiled weakly at her and turned to look out the window. He could see the horizon of the Earth’s surface against the blackness of space and remembered all the times he had spent out there in the seat of his Gundam.

Should he forgive Heero? No. He couldn’t; his heart wouldn’t let him. But his heart was begging to be with Heero at the same time. He missed the stoic man so much his chest hurt and he couldn’t figure out how to stop the pain.

He purposefully began to caress his ring finger, suddenly missing the golden ring more than ever. He missed it, he realized. He missed having that ring around his finger, constantly assuring him that he was wanted. It was gone, though, and so was the desired feeling. But a part of his heart was happy for the ring’s absence. Knowing that the ring no longer stood for anything meant the sentimentality of it was gone with the promises it represented.

There were so many conflicting feelings swarming in his heart and mind, he didn’t know which ones to listen to. Go back to Heero to appease one part of his heart? Or stay away to calm another? He hated the situation his ex-lover had caused.

Heero had promised him, Duo’s heart would continually scream, why did he break the promise?

Duo stopped his train of thought, knowing that it would lead nowhere. He had been asking himself the same questions for the past month and a half and none of them were answerable without Heero. He refused to ask the man who had hurt him, though. His thoughts would have to remain unsatisfied.

He leaned his forehead on the window, feeling the faint coolness of space seep through the glass. Closing his eyes, he tried to calm himself again. He steadied his breathing and slowed his heart rate. His body was now calm, but his mind wasn’t, the words the woman had spoken flying like hunting eagles in his head. He couldn’t make a decision regarding Heero. He was beginning to think he would never be ready to face him again.

But he had no choice and as the shuttle continued its decent to Earth, Duo continued to try and relax his mind and ease the anxiety that was building up in his stomach. Ready or not, Duo did have a job to do.

~ ~ ~

Working to calm himself, Duo lead the other two Preventer agents into Relena’s office building. They passed through the entrance hall and Duo was glad they had decided to go ahead with the arrest. If they had waited until the conference to catch him then, or arranged a sting operation, things wouldn’t go as smoothly as they were about to go. Besides, it wasn’t as though they needed to get the whole group in one place. They had an extensive list compiled from clues and sketches Kaden was able to provide them.

His mind, however, began to drift and race with a million thoughts, all centered around seeing Heero and Relena again. He was scared as to how he would react to seeing Heero again. After the talk with the woman on the shuttle back to Earth, Duo had been thinking about Heero more than ever, thinking about how maybe he was making a mistake. He pushed the thought away as he had endless times now. He was tired of feeling stupid and guilty and more than anything, he was sick of feeling like he was making mistake after mistake. First he thought he had made a mistake in being with Heero in the first place, then the idea that staying away from the man was a mistake… he didn’t know what to think and thinking that he was a fool wasn’t helping him any.

Quieting his mind, he focused on his present task. He had to find Malum.

As the three Preventers entered the lobby, their boots clopped against the marble floor, causing the receptionist to look up and smile at Duo.

“Hello Mr. Maxwell,” the young woman greeted, brushing her long brown hair away from her face, “Here to see Mr. Yuy?”

Duo shook his head, mentally noting that Heero apparently hadn’t told anyone about their break up, even though it had been over two months ago. “No,” he replied, looking at her with serious eyes, “I’m working.” He reached into his coat pocket and took out his badge, flashing his picture at the woman. “I’m here on behalf of the Preventers; can you tell us where Advisor Malum is?”

The girl’s face visibly paled but she managed to stumble out an answer. “He’s in the conference room with Miss Darlian and…”

“Thank you,” Duo said quickly. He turned and nodded at the other two agents before walking across the large lobby and through two large oak doors.

“Wait!” the receptionist called after them, “You can’t go in there!”

But it was too late. Duo quickly found the conference room, easily remembering the building’s layout from his last visit. He peaked through the small window in the door, seeing Malum standing while half a dozen other officials sat and listened. Instantly, he noted Relena and Heero’s position in the room. He instantly repressed any feelings that arose, noting that now was not the time to think about his personal life.

He mentally routed a way around the gathered official to get to Malum as fast as possible, should the older man decide to run. Looking at his partners, he nodded and they both took out their guns. Duo felt his gun against his side, the nose resting in the holster around his waist, ready to be grabbed when needed.

In one swift motion, Duo opened the doors and entered the room. The sudden bursting open of the doors called their attention and each of the officials looked up with wide eyes to star at Duo. Their bodies tensed when they saw the other agents with their guns raised, pointing at their chief advisor. Heero’s lightning reflexes had him on his feet, battle positioned and gun held out in less than a second. His eyes widened when he saw who had opened the doors and the gun slowly lowered as he realized the intruders were of no threat to his boss, though the idea of Duo there to kill Relena did pass his mind. That couldn’t be it though, he had other Preventer agents with him.

Duo’s eyes briefly passed over Heero, then over Relena, a slight pang of familiar pain stinging him in the gut. Despite the fact that he would gladly leave Relena and Heero to anyone who wanted to kill them, it was his job to protect every citizen and make sure that their peace was retained. If that meant he had to kill a part of himself while saving those who betrayed him, so be it.

Brenn Malum gaped at the three agents in the doorway, confusion and slight fear covering his features.

“Brenn Malum,” Duo said firmly as he walked to stand next to the man, “You are under arrest for the attempted assassination of global leaders, the possession of illegal arms and the organizing of an illegal terrorist organization.”

The two other Preventer agents followed Duo closely, their guns aimed at Malum and eyes watching for sudden movements. As Duo laid a hand on the older man, he took the handcuff out of his pocket and worked to get them on Malum’s wrists.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Relena demanded, stepping forward to emphasize her words.

“I… I don’t know, Ms. Darlian, I…” Malum stuttered as he was handcuffed, his face turning red in embarrassment and fear.

“You have the right to remain silent,” Duo began. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you--”

“Duo! What are you doing?!” Relena asked, her voice raising to a yell.

Duo looked up at her, his features hardening as he worked to keep his emotions under control. “I am arresting a terrorist, Ms. Darlian. Step aside.”

Relena now positioned herself between Duo and the doorway, preventing him and the other two agents from leaving with her advisor. Heero remained at his post near the wall, in front of the chair he had abandoned moments ago. His eyes were fixed on Duo though he said nothing.

“I demand you tell me what is going on!” Relena shouted.

“I am helping you, now step aside!” Duo ordered, his voice raising to match Relena’s in volume. The tension in his body tightened his muscles, causing them to twinge in pain. The anxiety coursed through his veins as he stared into Relena’s dark eyes.

The girl didn’t move and Duo’s anger got the best of him. Before he could stop himself, his gun was raised and aimed directly in between Relena’s eyes. The brown orbs widened as the fear rushed over the girl and Duo cheered inwardly. The room froze and there was dead silence. “Step aside,” he repeated decisively, his voice lowering to a dangerous and threatening whisper.

The room was silent again and everyone stared at Duo, wondering what he was thinking. The two Preventer agents gaped at their superior but did nothing. Heero’s grip on his gun tightened but he couldn’t bring himself to raise it; he knew Duo was no threat, that he wouldn’t hurt the girl.

Relena finally relented and stepped aside. Eyes blazing, Duo moved past her, pushing Malum out of the room.

He suddenly stopped, halfway through the door, and turned. “Mark!”

One of the Preventer agent’s head snapped up. “Sir?”

“Get access to Malum’s office and search his files for any evidence.”

The agent nodded and Duo turned back around, leading Malum out of the building.

~ ~ ~

He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were white with the strain. He stared out his side window, gazing at the house he hadn’t seen in almost two months.

The tan house rose out of the ground in an ominous way, leaning over the driveway like an accusing parent. Duo found that the windows weren’t as bright as he remembered them and the house itself wasn’t as welcoming. He could tell the grass hadn’t been cut, nor had the leaves been raked. Brown leaves sprinkled the yard and ornamented the roof, giving the building the appearance of an old haunted house.

Earl sat in the back seat, pawing at the door handle, sticking his head out the window and whimpering to get out. He hadn’t seen his home in too long and he was eager to go and remark his territory. He also remembered the person in the house, the one he had bonded so well with. He continued to scratch at the door, ready to run at the house and be greeted by his missing parent.

Duo ignored the animal and continued to stare at the house. You have to go, he told himself. But his legs wouldn’t listen. After sitting in the rental car, parked on the side of the street for nearly twenty minutes, he managed to make his way to the front door. It was another long moment before he gathered the courage to knock.

At first there was no answer and for a second Duo’s courage faltered. He turned to run back to the car, but the door opened and Duo found himself staring at the object of his torment. His eyes traveled hungrily up and down Heero’s body and moving up to his face to gape at the face he had recently only seen in his nightmares. Heero returned the silent gaze, a look of slight shock on his face. His eyes were sunken in, the area around them dark from lack of sleep. He was dressed in a white tank top and loose sweat pants. It was apparently his day off.

Heero stepped forward, his eyes wide but with no surprise, and reached out a desperate hand. “Duo…”

Taking in a deep breath, Duo slowly released it and looked at him, trying urgently to suppress the pain and anxiety that was building in his chest. “Hi. I just came to get the rest of my stuff…”

Heero’s eyes suddenly dulled and the spark that had appeared moments ago was lost again. “Oh.” He lowered his gaze and blinked at the concrete sidewalk for a few seconds before raising his gaze to look Duo in the eye. “All right.” He turned and Duo followed him back into the house.

Duo looked around and every familiar object tore away at him, making his insides more divided. He saw the TV remote on the coffee table, held together with duct tape, and he desperately missed holding the broken plastic in his hand as he flipped through the stations. He noticed the VCR still blinked 12:00 am and wished that sometime while he’d lived there, that he had learned how to fix the damn thing. The abstract painting he had bought for Heero last Valentines Day still hung above the couch. The random shapes, when studied hard enough, composed the Japanese symbol for love and that was the sole reason Duo had bought it for him. He now wished he hadn’t. Just looking at the picture reminded him that it was all a lie.

He turned and tried to focus on his task of getting his things. He followed as Heero went into the kitchen. While the stoic man stopped to take a drink of something, Duo continued to walk into the garage. He emerged moments later with a few flattened boxes. Taking the boxes to the living room, Duo opened them and began to pack the few remaining items he had in the house.

He threw in the few books that remained on the shelf and tossed in the magazines that had come to him through the mail. He went into the coat closet and took out his boots, his old tennis shoes and his dress shoes and placed them all into a box. He grabbed his umbrella and business coat and the suitcase he had gotten from Trowa for Christmas last year. The boxes slowly filled up and the house slowly emptied.

Heero watched the entire show in silence. He stood still as stone in the doorway, eyes fixed on Duo’s every move. Duo knew he was watching and at first he became slightly nervous being under that gaze. But as the moments passed and the silence persisted, he began to ignore it and continued to pack under the watchful eyes of his ex.

He glanced once at the man watching him, noticing his hand moving nervously. But it wasn’t moving for no reason; it was fidgeting with a ring. Duo instantly recognized the gold band and confusion hit him. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about Heero wearing the ring, but he didn’t really have time to think about it.

Duo filled a box and a half from the living room and soon moved on to the bedroom. There was little talk between them; in fact they avoided talking unless necessary since neither really seemed to know what to say. The awkward silence drifted through the house like a seeping poison without a cure. It was only around noon that any sound was made by their mouths.

“Do you want something to eat?” Heero asked in a tone reminiscent of his emotionless war-state.

“M’not hungry,” Duo replied, tossing an old photo album into a box.

“You haven’t eaten since before you got here and I doubt you even ate then,. Just have some lunch.” Heero, leaning against the doorway of the bedroom, narrowed his eyes and stared at Duo, almost challenging him to argue more.

It was only by old habit that Duo stood and relented.

Duo walked out to the car to get Earl, knowing full well he couldn’t leave the dog in the car all day without causing harm. He unlocked the door as Earl stuck his nose through the cracked window, whimpering to be let out.

“Hold on, buddy,” Duo told him, grabbing the leash from the front seat. He then opened the door to the back seat, quickly grabbing Earl by the collar and clipping on the leash. He held the dog’s face and looked at him while Earl continued to pant in excitement. “Don’t get your hopes up, buddy. We’re not staying. We can’t stay.”

The dog whined and Duo let go, allowing him to jump out of the car. Turning, Duo closed the car door and lead Earl up to the house.

They sat quietly across from each other. Duo avoided Heero’s gaze and Heero constantly tried to catch Duo’s. Earl lie quietly in the living room, curled into Heero’s chair, re-carving his body into the cushion.

Silence reigned for a good five minutes before Heero tried to fill the void with small talk. “Thank you… for find out about Malum and…” He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘saving Relena’ for fear that Duo would take it the wrong way.

“I was doing my job,” Duo replied quietly, ignoring the unspoken words.

“Still…” There was a few more moments of silence before Heero tried to lighten the mood. “You know you scared Relena out of her pants when you pulled the gun on her like that… she went on for a long while about complaining about your conduct.”

Duo swallowed his bite of his sandwich before answering. “I don’t care. Let her complain. I saved her life… and it wasn’t by choice so if she has complaints, she can shove ‘em up her ass.”

The tone in Duo’s voice ended the conversation and the uncomfortable hush floated between them again.

Nibbling on his sandwich, Duo tried not to think about everything. He didn’t give a flying monkey’s ass about what Relena’s opinions were on his conduct. The thoughts that swarmed his head weren’t focused on her. He tried to center on something other than the emotions sitting across from Heero brought to the surface. But it was a futile effort as the cobalt eyes closely surveyed every movement of his body. Thousands of ideas came to mind and there were so many things he wanted to scream at Heero, so many things he wanted to ask. He refused to open his mouth, though; he was afraid, as always, that the snowball of emotions would continue to roll and never stop. He sat quietly, afraid to say anything for fear that it would lead to things he hated thinking about.

Heero didn’t seem to understand this. He looked at Duo, his hand rubbing the ring under the table, and decided to break the silence again. “Duo?”

Swallowing the last bit of turkey, Duo cleared his head and looked up to face the boy across the table. “Yeah?”

“We need to talk about this.”

Duo’s eye narrowed and he stood, taking his plate and cup to the sink. “What is there to talk about?”

“Everything,” Heero answered as he followed Duo across the kitchen, trying to get the other man to stop and talk to him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Duo said plainly.

Losing a bit of his control, Heero’s arm slipped up to punch the wall; he was able to hold enough control to prevent his fist from break through the plaster. Earl looked up when the bang echoed through the house, his ears perking in curiosity. “Duo…”

“What do you want to talk about Heero?” Duo turned on him, standing no more than six inches from him, a deadly glare painted over his face. “You want to apologize? Try to get me to stay?”

“I just…”

“Do you understand that I can’t believe anything you say anymore?” He waited and Heero lowered his gaze and nodded. “You stole from me, cheated on me and lied to me. What else is there to talk about?”

“I’m sorry,” Heero managed to whisper, “I know that nothing I say will mean anything, but I am sorry.”

Duo didn’t respond. He remained silent while standing and staring into Heero’s eyes. He searched his mind and heart but no response could be thought of. Slowly, as his head was swarming, the emotions began to resurface. The pain and hurt and betrayal came up on him all at once and he found himself helpless to stop them. They took over but he managed to fix his face to hide them. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from whispering, “Why?”

Heero searched the boy’s face. “I feel horrible…” he began to answer, but Duo cut him off.

“No!” Duo said, a little louder than he had intended, “Why did you do it in the first place?”

The only answer the former Wing pilot had for him was, “I honestly don’t know.”

“How did it happen?” Duo heard himself ask. He really didn’t want to know, but he was also determined to get all the answers. Why the hell did I ask that? he yelled at himself.

Heero’s eyes portrayed the same question but he focused and began to answer, perfectly willing to tell Duo anything he wanted to know. He had lied before and as Duo hoped, he didn’t seem to want to do so again. “It was after the committee press conference. Relena and I were alone in her office. She said she had something to tell me and I assumed it was about the meeting. She began rubbing against me… I don’t know why I didn’t stop her. I just… stood there and she…” He moved his gaze away.

Duo’s heart couldn’t take that answer and the tightness in his chest increased. “Why did you lie?” he choked.

This question took Heero longer to answer. He looked at Duo’s face, his eyes happily taking in every feature and expression he hadn’t seen for two months. Their eyes locked but no one spoke. Letting out a slow breath, Heero finally answered him. “I was afraid you would leave,” he said quietly.

“Well your fears came true anyway,” Duo told him, his tears suddenly stopping. Turning, Duo returned to the bedroom and grabbed the box he had been packing. He took it into the living room and that was where Heero stopped him.

Hand firmly grasping the other boy’s arm, Heero’s eyes penetrated Duo’s psyche, reading every emotion he felt. “Duo, I am sorry I caused you so much pain.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Duo whispered. He moved his arm to pick up his mail and Heero let it go, his eyes taking on a defeated expression.

Heero stared at him for a moment, watching while Duo closed the boxes and taped them shut. “So… this is it?”

Duo turned to look at him. “What else would there be?”

“I… I don’t know…“ Heero responded slowly, “Something… anything.”

“How would there be anything left?” Duo asked, now turning to look Heero directly in the eye, his face determined to prove a point. “How could there be anything else? You had sex with someone else - and it’s not even that you did that! You lied. I couldn’t tell you were lying because you have never lied to me before. How could I ever trust you again?” He watched the pain become apparent in Heero’s eyes and felt no sympathy for him. He brought this on himself, Duo thought.

“What do you want me to do?” Heero asked, moving closer to the other boy. “I’ll do anything. Anything you tell me to do, I’ll do it. Just please… don’t leave.”

Duo saw the determination and hope return to Heero’s face and for some reason it fueled his anger. “Heero, you had sex with Relena! You lied about it! You deliberately kept something from me! Nothing you can do can change all that.”

“I know.”

“So then why try?”

Heero’s gaze rose until he was again looking straight at the other man. “Because I love you.”

Duo stared at him, their eyes locked. “Then why did you do this?”

“Because I am stupid and careless… and I need to lose something to learn the value of it.” Heero moved forward and held him with both hands gripping Duo’s arms. Duo, in turn, seemed unable to move. “I love you. I made a mistake. I don’t deserve you, but I can’t stop needing you. Please don’t leave.”

A tear escaped his eye but Duo quickly wiped it away. “How can I ever trust you again?”

“I will never stop working to regain your trust - just tell me what you want me to do.”

An idea came instantly into Duo’s mind and he instantly voiced it. “Quit your job.”

“Done.”

Duo blinked at him. He stared Heero’s face and his heart told him to believe him. He instinctively felt skeptical but his heart wouldn’t let him continue to doubt Heero and he hated it. Heero had lied and yet Duo still loved him. He still trusted him. He had no idea how, but he couldn’t help but feel that maybe they could fix this. But he had to be sure. “Where are you going to work, then?”

“Anywhere else. Wherever you want.”

“You would never see her again?”

“Never.”

All his demands were being met with compliance and he found himself unsure of how to take it. If Heero was willing to do anything for him to try and make up for his mistakes, where did that leave them? How could Duo still leave when Heero was there begging him to stay and his heart was begging with him. He wanted to stay more than anything, to have the relationship he had once had with this man. He wanted the days of happiness to return. He wanted his perfect world back. He knew that no matter what happened, they could never have that back, not completely. It was impossible to have it exactly the same. But he wanted it so bad. “You can’t do this every time, you know. Every time you fuck up you can’t just talk me into forgiving you - and don’t get the wrong idea here! I am not forgiving you for what you did…”

“I know,” Heero responded, a genuine smile forming on his lips.

“And I don’t know if I ever will forgive you…”

“I know.”

“And if I ever do forgive you, it won’t be anytime soon.”

“I know.”

“I don’t even know if I want to do this…” Duo turned to sit down on the couch but Heero grabbed him and turned him back to face him.

Heero’s mouth opened and closed a few quick times before he decided on action instead of words. In one swift moment Duo was silenced when Heero firmly placed his lips over his. The kiss instantly deepened, Duo’s arms snaking up around Heero’s neck. For that moment, Duo forgot everything. The demons that had haunted him for the past two months faded away and for the first time in that period, his heart relaxed. He forgot what Heero had done, how he had cheated and lied, and forgot all the pain those actions had caused. For that moment he felt at peace in Heero’s familiar arms.

When the kiss ended, they were both short for breath and neither wanted to release their hold on the other. Duo gazed up at Heero, his eyes boring into Heero’s soul, searching for the truth when he pleaded quietly, “Don’t ever lie to me again.”

Heero returned the gaze, letting Duo see his sincerity. “Never.”

Duo so badly wanted to believe him. His heart ached for it. The words of the woman from the shuttle ran through his head.

There was no doubt in his mind that he truly loved Heero. He knew from the moment he discovered Heero’s infidelity. Even in that moment, Duo still loved the man and that was when he knew he was truly in love with him. He was sure of that.

He was equally sure that being with Heero would be the thing that made him happy. Trust would have to be rebuilt, yes. But it wouldn’t be impossible.

It seemed that Duo’s heart had already made up his mind for him. His hand opened, holding his palm out flat to Heero. “Can I have my ring back, then?”

It took Heero a moment to register his luck, but a genuine smile made its way across his face and he slipped the ring off of his own finger and took Duo’s hand in his own. He turned it over so the palm was down and slid the golden band back where it belonged.