Advanced skills in literature and writing lead to a clearer form of thinking,
a logical sense of direction. A large vocabulary is great to use in writing and notable to know, but has no value in the everyday
world (aside from the dreaded college tests which I care not to think about at the moment) other than impressing those who
do not know the meanings. But once again, it must be known that advanced skills in literature and writing lead to a clearer
form of thinking, a logical sense of direction. Essays in particular teach how to organize thoughts and express them in communicative
ways. There are many forms of essays, and many formats that one can use to organize them. Believe me, I know. Covering this
format and that format of this and that, it has backed up what I have already realized and begun to deal with. I can now,
according to the thesis-sentence-last format, state that I dislike essays.
Now forgive me if I had eluded a blueprint sentence among the gibberish of
my introduction paragraph. At this moment, I cannot give a blueprint sentence. Perhaps this makes my current essay morph into
a free-write. But for now, I will humor myself and label this an essay on my dislike of essays. If I so choose, I shall include
a blueprint sentence to satisfy those who depend on one. And IF I so choose, it will be at the end of my essay. Very untraditional,
I know. But IF I so choose, it shall be there. To me, at the moment, that is all that matters. If you are still reading this,
then it should not matter much to you either. Otherwise, you would have put this down in disgust at the mockery of the English
language. Forgive me once again (although I have no reason to beg forgiveness because, one, it has no importance or effect
on any events of now or the future, and, two, those who I need to apologize to have already left. Well, a hardy good-bye to
you as well).
For those still following along, I must apologize to you once again. For
even I had noticed that my first body paragraph has no organization and no relevance to my thesis. But who really creates
these formats? The general public? Great minds among the world of literature? If I were able to create a following behind
formats of my own, then may my formats become one of the thirty-something paragraph formats already existent? I shall call
my format the "random-no-sense-not-at-all-complicated" paragraph. Any paragraph that does not follow one of the thirty-something
paragraph formats shall be a "random-no-sense-not-at-all-complicated" paragraph.
As for not following my thesis, I shall now direct my mockery to it. I dislike
essays. I shall now write a paragraph on disliking. Dislike is when something gives an unpleasant feeling the majority of
the time, mostly for justifiable reasons. I shall now provide proof on my definition of disliking. "Dislike: To regard with
distaste or aversion; An attitude or a feeling of distaste or aversion" (Dictionary.com/dislike). I shall now provide the
afore mentioned justified reasons for my "dislike" of essays. They take up much time. They take up much brainwork (that is
the ideal reason that the lazy ones would use. I hope I am correct in saying that I am not one of these lazy ones). Essays
make my brain hurt. That may not be politically correct, but it is clear enough to give a general idea.
However, this entire dislike of essays may stem from a biased view. I seem
unable to write notable essays. I seem to be able to write notable free-writes. Because I am unable to write notable essays,
I dislike them. I am biased. Others may not be. They may be capable of writing brilliant (excuse the pomposity, if it is present)
essays. They dislike them too, but for the not-personally-biased reasons I had mentioned in my previous paragraph.
I was finally able to create an organizationally correct paragraph. I pat
myself on the back. It is rare that it occurs, especially in free-writes. Not that I consider this a free-write. This is an
essay about my dislike of essays. But I had made a topic-sentence-first paragraph. Yay for me.
According to this computer, "yay" is not a proper word, and "yay for me"
is not a proper sentence. What type of word is "yay" anyways? I assume it is an interjection. Is it "proper" to use a preposition
right after? I say "yay for something" all the time in public without ever receiving dirty looks. And so I conclude that my
personal definition of "proper" must be amended. In my opinion, every new meaning should receive a new word. That should increase
the English language tenfold. But that belief goes along with the thought that all words should be spelled by phonics. In
other words, neither opinion is regarded highly by others, or by myself. And so, these thoughts shall once again be shoved
into a dusty, rusty filing cabinet in a corner at the back of my head, alongside my heavily guarded, high security vault containing
an enjoyment of tomatoes, large suffocating crowds, and the Asians stinky tofu.
As I had stated earlier, I would consider providing a blueprint sentence
later on in the essay. According to the widely accepted theories of physics, this is "later on in the essay". Although it
is once again, very untraditional, I shall leave you here, ending on my blueprint. As I look back on my essay, I choose to
provide the following blueprint to you: In this essay, I shall discuss morphing, the number thirty, dictionaries, pomposity,
stiff backs, stinky tofu, and sprockets (just because I adore that word).
